A lot of times I feel like I am missing something out of life but I am nowhere near knowing exactly what it is. Sometimes I feel that I am missing that special someone in my life but then I sit and realize that I might not be ready for that. I think about everything that I haven’t been able to let go of in my past and realize that it’s too much to put on anyone else. I know I have so much love I want to give to someone else yet I haven’t learned how to fully give it to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love myself so much but I know I can do better. I love and trust too easily. So that special someone is not the solution. Or at least I don’t think so right now. Sometimes I feel I am missing my true purpose in life. I know I am here to help others, I just don’t know how. I love doing so much and love being everybody’s she-ro but I still do not know how I am going to incorporate that into a career. I just feel a sense of loneliness sometimes even when I am in a room full of people who mean the world to me. I know I belong I just think too much and need concrete answers. I ramble too much lol but this is the way my mind works. Except most of the time I am thinking about other’s problems instead. I see now this blog is going to be where I truly vent. I just realized what it is that I am missing: a true confiding friend. I really need a companion who knows ALL of my inner most thoughts because they are beginning to get the best of me at times. I pray but I guess I need that person I can see when I’m talking to them; who can wipe my tears away when I cry. I am that for everybody else but I have no one to be that for me. Maybe one day I will find my husband and he will be that. I hope I don’t scare him away.
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